Sunday, September 29, 2013

Flight UA916: Aiports Part I

Come Fly With Me: In the glory days of air travel when it was almost a privilege to fly, people use to wear proper clothes and make an effort. Your ticket included drinks, food, and of course your checked luggage. No one was stripped searched or badgered by impertinent morons who failed the "rent-a-cop exam" and definitely no one was audacious enough to ask you to remove your shoes...

I guess I now feel like an old man moaning about how terrible times are and how nice it was...but to be honest, i was not born in the glory days of travel...my first flight was in the late 70's and I was very little. It was from New Orleans to Charlotte, North Carolina. Since that first time, I only flew a handful of times more as a teenager: Washington DC, Denver, and the Bahamas. It wasn't until I packed my bags and moved to Europe in the early 90's did I discover what air travel was. I guess you can say it was part of me growing up.

But today to fly means rolling out of bed, maybe brushing your teeth, throwing whatever you want into any type of bin bag and dragging yourself on to the plane with your personal home pillow. Welcome to the proletarian nation!

If i had my way maybe for only a day, then i would like to see airlines flying for purpose not profit. If you're trip is pleasure/holiday/stag or hen do/accompanying small children with healthy lungs/smelly students returning home from school/or just a shy and quiet person defecting to another country...then you have the good fortune to travel with airline A. If you are traveling for business please make your way to the lounge and enjoy your flight with airline B.

So back to the present and flying in today's Greyhound's of the sky. The rules that i follow to make air travel as painless as possible:
1. Travel light. Pack VERY light...why bring 4 shirts when you only need 2 (in these times you can have clothes laundered). I have gone almost 12 days business travel with a carry-on bag and laptop bag. My packing essentials for a 3-4 day business trip(in a carry-on of course): 2-3 dress shirts, 2 ties, 1 suit, 1 blazer(worn either on the plane or packed if traveling in the suit), gym clothes, toiletries, light packable raincoat, scarf, thin v-neck sweater and work accessories(phone and laptop charger).

2. I avoid budget airlines as much as possible...these days the big airlines are almost the same costs as these pay for everything including using the loo airlines ...and you have more flight time options as well.

3. Stay in 3-5* hotels. I enjoy quaint boutique style hotels, but for business travel, i prefer certain standards (gym, double bed, wifi, bar area). Plus this tends to eliminate most of the student or families with pets and infants demographic. I also tend to stay in either centrally located hotels or convenient to airport routes. Depending on my knowledge of the city, i prefer the less touristy hotel areas for more stylish neighborhoods. Again, one point to note, in Europe, avoid staying in hotels directly opposite to the train stations...as they tend to be frequented by undesirable sorts and transient rift raft.

4. At the airports - i tend to give myself enough time to check-in and get through security...with frequent business travel you can build enough status to use the lounge facility, which i highly recommend. You get time to get a free coffee, sometimes breakfast...as well as free wifi for roaming on phone or to check emails. By arriving early and using the lounge, you can actually save a bit of cash on overpriced processed airport food.

5. Going through security - i know this sounds a bit anal, but it baffles me the amount of people who do not know the drill by now? I cannot fathom why they are not prepared to remove shoes, belts, and toiletries when going through scanners. I am even more so surprised bu business travellers who do not realize they must take out their laptops/ipads etc...? Maybe it is the airports fault for not stressing this 57 times as you walk up to go through?  

Sartorial Tip - when traveling in North America, i recommend a loafer style shoe for easy access, but not the typical Jambo or Rockport flipper. A sleek and thin leather or rubber soul. If you are traveling in Europe you have more flexibility with lace up shoes. But unless you are flying to Spain, no sweat pants or shorts.

In these troubling times of international terror...the safety of air travel is additionally threatened by the demand for leisure and convenience and with the up rise of the pajama-jeans...the war on terror has been won by the traveling depraved. So long Joe DiMaggio...start spreading the news...i am leaving on a jet plane...don't know when things will be sane again.